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Atomic Vixens
Escape from the Valley of the Sluts
Starring: Jade Starr, Lacie Heart, Justine Joli, Mika Tan, Ashley
Steel, Tyler Houston, Marie Luv, Leah Luv, James Deen and Kyle Moore.
Directed by Ron Royster
Will Appeal To: Horny Hipsters
From VCA
2005
In a recent conversation with an impressionable young man about porn,
he accused me of being jaded. Uh, yeah. His unbridled enthusiasm for
“alt-porn” was sweet. I told him that it had all been done. Every newly
released DVD is, yes, new, but it’s still all the same suck-n-fuck. So
from the perspective of someone who’s been fast-forwarding through
porno for a decade, how different can things get? That was the question
I asked myself as I poppsed Atomic Vixens into my DVD player.
This vid has all the requisites: six sex scenes, much female
masturbation and enough moaning and groaning to wake the neighbors. But
this is supposed to be some of that alt-porn the impressionable young
man was gushing about. So?
Every generation brings their own aesthetic to the genre and this one’s
no exception. The pluses are an eye for detail and refreshingly
non-porn movie music. But once you get past the modern touches, it’s
still, yes, suck-n-fuck. Or at least lots of licking! Mika and Jade
start off the show with a tongue-tango, labe lappin’ girl-girl scene
with some hot crystal double dildo action.
Scene two turned out to be my favorite, even if it was only one woman.
The ghostly white Justine Joli is sooooo hot! Wearing nothing but neon
green tights, she rolls around on a white shag rug, masturbates like
mad, sucks her own toes and plays with a great red crystal dildo. What
a pro! She points her toes through the whole scene and really works
those tights in the foxiest Leg Show style. Judging by the way she
shakes, her orgasm is the real deal. It’s a long, languid scene. Mmmmm!
Anyone not moved by this scene must be brain dead!
Fembots Lacie and Ashley both have plenty of piercings and Lacie has an
amazing tattoo. She uses an airbrush to make Ashley come, which looked
fucking awesome! Next up, Tyler takes on a mechanic from L.I.M.P. and
it’s a quick lick, suck and fuck. Her feet are bare and filthy, which
is a realistic touch. When he comes on her tongue and in her mouth, she
drools all of it like a good dirty girl. This babe is HOT!
Scene five features more masturbation by Marie, in a killer outfit,
rainbow lollipop and rainbow lipstick. She squeezes rainbow paint or
frosting and white whipped cream all over herself, then gets into the
bathtub. She plays in the suds, uses a cool crystal dildo and gets good
and sloppy, makeup running and hair dripping. Whew! And when she comes,
she really oozes. Wow!
The last scene stars Leah and “Deuce” on a couch with a Mondrian
backdrop. She sucks him till he’s hard while she plays with herself,
they 69 a while and then fuck in a few positions. I think there was
even some anal exploration in there, but it was all a bit of a blur. He
comes in her hands. Nice!
As the credits roll we’re treated to a few hilarious outtakes; I just
LOVE outtakes! And then there’s a whole separate bonus disc with behind
the scenes shit, photo galleries and so on.
Okay, so that’s the basic play-by-play, but what sets this flick apart
from all the rest? As I said, it’s got music that blows away the
ordinary thunka-thunka you get in porn. The word is that Flynt and co.
mine MySpace for raunchy rock bands and that plan pays off handsomely
here. The sets are truly spectacular: the eye-popping colors and
interesting textures are all very Valley of the Dolls tongue in cheek.
The wardrobe and makeup choices are flawless in a wonderfully
non-distracting way. All the girls have real boobs which is reason
alone for me to love this. The sex scenes are basically no-frills, with
little or no dialogue, and the plot is moved along by amazing comic
book graphics, a clever device that really adds to how entertainingly
visual it all is.
But getting back to the whole alt-porn conversation, this isn’t all
that alt, really. What makes it stand out is the feeling that the
people making this porn appear to be slightly more passionate than
most. It’s fun and well done without being embarrassingly earnest. Two
glittering space-age crystal dildos up!
[Written May 2006]
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