|
News
&
Events
Words
Images
Links
Archival Abby
Abby's Bio
|
Naughty Pilates
Wicked Workout!
The biggest problem with working out is boredom. Sit ups and
calisthenics are so last century! So how to spice up your hour or two
of exercise? Well, how about a little Naughty Pilates?
I met the director of this workout DVD, Christine Gladney, at an
evening of BadAss Burlesque and it’s obvious she has a keen eye for
bodacious babes who know how to work their charms. Christine has
combined a serious workout program with silly burlesque and vaudeville
style by “marrying the techniques developed by Joseph Pilates with the
old bump and grind style of burlesque, then mixed with a dash of
humor.” The smarmy MC JMM interjects from time to time with ridiculous
deadpan jokes. “Cabana boys” keep the “martinis” coming as your
instructor, “Sophie Couch,” recommends that you keep hydrated. And the
models are gorgeous, real girls. It’s all done with a nod and a wink,
but the exercises are the real thing!
Pilates is an exercise regimen that utilizes pullies and resistance,
but it has recently been freed from the machines to more closely
resemble a blending of yoga and calisthenics. It focuses on your
core—your abdominal muscles—and is designed to stretch and tone and
whip you into shape. Ahem!
“Sophie Couch” gives you movement-by-movement instruction for each
individual exercise, explaining what muscle groups you’re working and
how to do the moves safely. Then the comely lasses she’s lassoed for
the DVD execute the exercises. But you won’t find any boring gym
clothes here! Ms. Gladney’s keen eye is equally trained on stylish
details. The costumes in Naughty Pilates are sexy and saucy: fringy
cowgirl outfits and frilly slips, ruffled panties and fishnets, garters
and geisha ensembles, peignoirs and negligees,. Fans of everything
vintage will be tickled pink! And shoe fetishists will be especially
gratified; there’s a mouthwatering selection of platforms and
stilettos, cowboy boots and lace-ups, ankle straps and kitten heels.
Oooh-ee! Not to mention Sophie’s adorable little peds, which she flexes
and points in all their glory as she demonstrates each exercise.
The sets and locations are trés glam as well, ranging from the
banks of the lazy Mississippi to a sunny rooftop, theme-y bars to an
old time-y beauty parlor. The lovely ladies lift their legs and perform
their sit-ups perched on top of a piano, across a long table, stretched
out on a series of pool tables and spread across the hood of a vintage
Cadillac. There’s even an aquatic interlude in a pool, complete with a
vintage swimsuit.
Even the accompanying music is amazing, with selections by garage bands
The Oblivians, The Preachers’ Kids, Mr. Airplane Man, ’68 Comeback and
more. I think this may be a first: a workout that has you sweatin’ to
something other than the oldies!
I have to admit that my apartment is so crammed full of crap that I
don’t have the spare square footage to work out at home. I have to trek
all the way to the gym to raise my heart rate. But that’s the curse of
living in Manhattan. For the rest of you, pick up a copy of Naughty
Pilates, spread out that exercise mat and feel the burn! I can
guarantee it will be the most entertaining workout you’ve ever
experienced. Well, except for sex, of course!
[Written March 2006]
|