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LaSara FireFox

Sexy Witch

LaSara FireFox has been facilitating workshops of all sorts for a full 20 years and she’s showing no signs of stopping. Incorporating many disciplines, from the magick and ritual of witchcraft to increasing self confidence and encouraging sexual positivity, she essentially counsels on improved human interaction. Her book Sexy Witch has been out for a while now and her next book, Ecstatic Flirting: Playing at the Edge of Self, will be out in the spring of 2007. Here she has a few words with us about how media impacts our body image, how ritual and magick are becoming more relevant — and imperative — and the path she’s taken to do what she loves for a living.

Eros Zine: Explain to those who might not know what a family-tradition Witch is.

LaSara FireFox: A family traditions Witch is anyone who has had lore handed down from generation to generation. Stories of magickal lineages, for example, or healing teas or foods. A lot of family traditions might look like "old wives tales" or superstition, but that is only true if you're not a believer!

Of course, before this generation many of us would have been loath to use the word Witch to describe ourselves or our traditions. Many paths of magick and Witchcraft were shrouded in the traditions of Christianity, to make them safe for practice. But many traditions made their way through the generations. You may even be a family traditions Witch and not even know it!

Eros Zine: How do you incorporate all of your disciplines into your workshops?

LaSara FireFox: Well, I don't incorporate ALL of my disciplines into all of my workshops... that's why there are so many of them! But the work I'm doing now with  www.sexitupseminar.com, flirting — human interaction, really, with flirting as the focus — is based solidly in the body of work I have been developing over the past many years. As far as how I do that, it's really pretty intuitive. No two workshops are identical. I work from a rough outline and just go where the room needs to go. It's a process of leading and following at the same time.

Eros Zine: You've been facilitating workshops for 20 years now. That’s impressive!

LaSara FireFox: Yes, I have! Wild, huh? I started young. I was a precocious young one.

Eros Zine: Not too many people are able to remain so immersed and so vital for such a long period of time. Tell us about your trajectory: how you began, how you moved into designing your own workshops and what keeps you energized and inspired enough to keep working.

LaSara FireFox: Well, I started as an activist. I learned the full consensus decision making process when I was 15, on the Great Peace March from California to Washington D.C. I went with my mom and three younger siblings. Talk about an amazing and life-altering experience! The March was nine months long. I started facilitating meetings at that time. I also did lots of public speaking. But honestly, the public speaking began earlier than that. I was 11 or 12 when I started speaking out for peace. I knew the world needed some help and I felt that if I wasn't doing something about it, I really didn't have faith that enough was being done. I mean, if not me, who? If not now, when? Right?

That is really what motivated me then, and it's what motivates me now. I feel I was born knowing I wanted to leave the world a better place than I found it. And one person can only do so much, but I'm committed to doing as much as I can with the time that I have. So that part of it, this overwhelming sense of loyalty and devotion, serves as a great motivator.


And, over the years, that motivation has taken different guises. Activism really worked for me for a very long time. But at a certain point I hit a wall with my relationship with oppositional thinking altogether. Now I prefer to be part of a solution; one where we are all finding the love that we desire, making deep connections, creating community and family, and coming home to our bodies in a radical way.

My new company name is The Ecstatic Presence Project. What I really want to offer out into the world at this time is a new way of being; we can create the Ecstasy that we seek just by becoming fully present in our experience of life and love. Easier said than done, but heck, it's good work if you can get it!

Eros Zine: Your workshops cover a pretty vast array of topics. How did you arrive at the many that you offer?

LaSara FireFox: They do, don't they? I'm a very curious person. I love gaining knowledge, processing it, ruminating, playing with it, integrating, and then creating something new with the progress I have made. So, I have many workshops. Honestly, too many. I love each and every one of them, very much, but at this point my future trajectory is really about bringing my focus a bit more narrow and trying to get the technology of ecstatic interaction out to as many people as possible.

Eros Zine: Giving of yourself to such an extent must be draining at times. How do you prevent yourself from burning out?

LaSara FireFox: Still learning that one. I'm doing pretty well though. Exercise is a big one for me. Conversation with friends and family. Hanging out with my kids. Camping in the summer time. Campfires. And lots and lots of ritual. Meditation.

And then there's the fact that I LOVE my work. I really feel so blessed to be able to do exactly the work that I love, the work that I feel is really the work I was destined for.

Eros Zine: What, exactly, is Neuro-Linguistic Programming?

LaSara FireFox: NLP is a technology for change that uses a variety of cues and tools to create instant re-patterning of neurological response patterns. It can be used for everything from curing phobias to... hmmm... making it easier to date! Really, it's a highly effective technology to create change of any kind.

Eros Zine: Tell us about your book, Sexy Witch.

LaSara FireFox: Well, Sexy Witch has actually been out for just over a year. I have a new baby on the horizon, though. It's called Ecstatic Flirting: Playing at the Edge of Self. The tentative publication date is June 21, 2007. There may very well be some early manuscript copies available in May, though. If any of your readers are interested, keep your eyes peeled for advance copies. You can check my website, or better yet, get on my newsletter and you'll hear about it before anybody else!

Eros Zine: I was especially motivated by your exercises to escape the media... I recently went about three months without watching any TV — or news — and it made me feel like a whole different person. In what ways do you think our society is influenced by the media?

LaSara FireFox: Integrally. There is no part of our culture that is NOT influenced by the media. There are some amazing folks out there working with the topic of media literacy — now THAT is an idea that is timely to the nth degree. My favorite amongst the media literacy proponents out there is Douglas Rushkoff. His stuff is amazing. He's ridiculously prolific and an amazingly easy writer to read.

Eros Zine: And how do these outside influences affect women's self image?

LaSara FireFox: I think the media has branched out from affecting just women's self image to affecting ALL of our self image. And the redirection has been intentional. The whole Metrosexual thing is one great example — not that I mind seeing guys putting some energy into their appearance, and in some ways it really does level the playing field. At least guys are spending some of their hard-earned cash at the salon on mani/pedis, right?

But really, why should any of us feel that much pressure? And get this; there are spas opening up now that cater especially to the pre-teen clientele. Get 'em hooked in early. And does a girl of 10 know how to balance her check book? Hell, even I'm not so good at that, yet! We're learning to spend money before we're learning how to make it, or to take care of it. And money needs care-taking, so it can take care of us later on. Women make less on the dollar than men do, and spend more of it to look "pretty."

Not to mention the time it takes. Many women spend 45 minutes or more getting ready to walk out the door, regardless of where they're headed. And the fact is that there is a proportional, minute-to-minute, measurable dip in self-esteem in women when they look at fashion magazines. And we're surrounded by this constant onslaught of insecurity-producing imagery.

I'm sure I sound a little bit of an extremist. But I say, just do the exercise and see how you feel afterwards. Right?

Eros Zine: Are our interpersonal relationships influenced by our sexuality? And/or our self worth/confidence?

LaSara FireFox: Well, as I like to say...how are you going to be able to enjoy having someone else visit your home if you don't know your way around it? I believe that becoming at home in our skin, our flesh, our bodies and beings is essential to building healthy and happy sexual relationships. I also believe that happy, healthy sexual relationships can really improve our quality of life, too. So it goes both ways.

Eros Zine: Do you think in our current attention deficit, multi-tasking world that people are losing touch with themselves — their emotions, their senses, their true feelings?

LaSara FireFox: Yes, I do. I believe that in this culture we are trained out of our bodies from a very early age. I talk about this in Sexy Witch, and will be talking about it in Ecstatic Flirting, too. Training ourselves back into our bodies is an amazing experience, and one that can be full of shocks of both joy and pain. It is amazing to feel, and shocking also sometimes when we realize that we have been NOT feeling for years.

I believe that learning to feel is revolutionary healing. And all of us can always do better at this than we do, no matter how open and compassionate we become. The world becomes a better place for our efforts. The more we learn to feel, to heal, to love our way through it all and remain open, the more love and openness exist. I talk about this in Sexy Witch, too; about the Vow of the Bodhisattva, in chapter seven. And I will be talking more about feeling, and becoming ecstatic in it, in my next book.

Eros Zine: Do you think people are gravitating more toward deeper spirituality and ritual these days?

LaSara FireFox: I certainly see it everywhere. You know, I'm restructuring my company right now — expanding it, changing how I do things — and I've been reading up on some entrepreneurial business writers. Talk about deep spirit! Some of these folks are amazing. Total revolutionaries. Tom Peters, for example, has some mind-blowing things to say. There are conscious entrepreneur networks springing up all over. And the Abundance Consciousness movement is built upon manifestation magick. Movies like The Secret, or T. Harv Ecker's work, integrate total life-change, using the desire to succeed financially as the open doorway.

I call it stealth transformation. People sign up for a course to learn how to make money, and walk back out to a whole new world. Magick is happening everywhere.

More deepening of spirituality is called for though. I think it's time to really heal the mind/body rift, and that this healing is also the humanity/earth rift. The old paradigm where the earth was created for our use, and even abuse, and our bodies are just a temporary stop-over on the way to the promised land just isn't really leading anywhere good.

I don't believe that the body is all that is — I'm not a materialist, in other words. I do believe that our bodies are a miraculous part of all that is, and all that is, is....god, for lack of a more neutral term. Spirit. It. Beingness. Each and every one of our cells is made of life itself. And life never ceases. It just changes form.

Eros Zine: Tell us about your Flirt Fests and Flirting & Negotiating Workshops. What goes on at both?

LaSara FireFox: The Flirt Fests are parties, celebrations and such. The workshops are more pragmatic. Both are highly educational, and both are really fun! I'm launching a weekend long flirting workshop this month. It's going to be great. And, we're offering full scholarships to the event. People can sign up at www.sexitupseminar.com. The two-hour classes always left people wanting for more, and let me tell you, I have a lot to give!

We work with the concept of responsible boundary play, and work with simple and effective techniques for becoming comfortable in social settings. We play with lots of exercise to increase confidence and to create the desired impact.

Really, I just want everyone to have all the love they can handle, and this is one way to make that happen. I'm a love pusher! Flirting is my gateway drug.

Eros Zine: Tell us about your upcoming book, Ecstatic Flirting. What will that involve?

LaSara FireFox: Similar to Sexy Witch, Ecstatic Flirting ranges from basic pragmatics, to social commentary and debunking, to spirituality. Unlike Sexy Witch, there is a much less intensive workbook component, and there are no rituals, per se. It's an easy book to read, with a bunch of fun and accessible ways to become a great flirt, and to move closer to one's self, spiritually.

Eros Zine: Any other projects in the works?

LaSara FireFox: Right now I'm really focusing on this restructuring of my company. And for the first time in my life, I'm actually letting people really help me to make my larger vision happen. I'll be doing lots of flirting workshops in the coming year, and in the near future I'll be creating audio and DVD recordings for those who can't attend the workshops yet, but want to get a taste of the material. And as I said, Ecstatic Flirting will be published in the summer. And when the book launches, you can bet we'll be hosting some fun parties around the Bay Area! Again, if folks are interested in what's on the horizon for myself and the Ecstatic Presence Project, they can get on my mailing list by visiting www.sexitupseminar.com. If they want more info about me, they can also visit my site at www.lasara.us.

Eros Zine: Thank you!

[Written Dec. 2006]