Editrix Abby  

Bi-Coastal Abby

Sampling the San Francisco Party Scene

San Francisco is like a second home city to me. My sister lives there so I visit quite a bit. Over the past six months I’ve spend about 60 days there, which is a lot of time to be away from home. The saving grace is, of course, that while I’m out there mostly for family functions the city has more than its fair share of fun to offer. I was there recently to celebrate the birthdays of both my nephews, as I do every April. I scheduled a Mondo Porno, as I also do every April—this time with a pirate theme—and that was a blast. San Francisco loves their pirates almost as much as they love their clowns! It was a success. But that was only one night out of many. So how did I keep myself busy this spring? I had more choices than I could make it to!

I arrived on a Thursday and barely had time to shake off the jet lag before I had to head out to a party at the Cybernet studios celebrating their latest documentary series. I had visited Tony Pirelli years ago to interview him for Penthouse Forum and the company headquarters had since moved. This new space was enormous, with a Hollywood-quality dungeon and all the accoutrements for shooting hot bondage scenes, plus a hilarious hay-filled barn set, a stupefying assortment of SM equipment and they’re collection of fabulous “fucking machines.” They screened the first three installments of the series and introduced their web staffers before we were treated to a sumptuous buffet and an open bar. Not a bad way to begin my stay!

Mondo Porno Pirates was the following night and Saturday I was primed for another visit to Whispers and an evening of thumpy-thumpy courtesy of Space Cowboys. I had every intention of stopping by Kinky Salon and the pajama party that Random and Unkle Paul were hosting, all simultaneously, but I jst ran out of energy. I know, I know…not enough, um, stimulants! Couple that with the drinking and driving and parking quandary and the solution is “go home!” Not to mention the knowledge that I’d be woken up early the following morning to help my sister corral 35 shrieking six-year-olds! Oy!

Over the week I shopped on the Haight, had breakfast with a friend I hadn’t seen in 30 years and bought way too many shoes on sale at Nordstroms. (If you haven’t seen my article about how tough it is to find sexy size 12s, click here.) [Sez, can you link to my trannie shoe shopping piece?] I also had a few more slices of birthday cake, beers at Aub Zam Zam (one of my two favorite San Francisco bars) and picked up a few pairs of almost custom-made stretchy pants from my friend Paula of DumbClothing.com [www.dumbclothing.com]. As for nightlife, after those beers at Zam Zam a friend also visiting from New York accompanied me to Bondage a Go-Go. He was pretty impressed, both by the sheer number of people in attendance on a rainy Wednesday night and the range of music played, as opposed to the usual industrial dreck he was expecting. Of course it didn’t hurt that there were a few dozen hot goth babes in short skirts and giant boots to ogle!

Thursday I planned to hit 1984 at The Cat Club but got too drunk at a random Irish bar with my sister’s kids’ ex-nanny. Ah, the best laid plans…Friday I was freezing my ass off in a high-end tent at Safari West, where my eight-year-old nephew was celebrating his birthday with a few friends. I kept them in line by engaging them in a game of gross word telephone which, as one might expect, quickly became a dirty word game instead. Wow, those kids are pretty sophisticated for eight-year-olds! Anyway, I woke up early for a full Saturday and couldn’t bring myself to shower in the unheated bathroom of that high-end tent, so I drove back down to the city and cleaned up there. Brrrr!

I made it to the Burning Man offices for their Volunteer Day just in time to sign on the dotted line for DPW. Yipes! Those people scare the shit out of me! But I want to get out to the playa early this year and help build the city, so what better way? I’m sure you’ll be hearing all about that after the fact! I also inquired about helping out at The Sanctuary. I’ll keep you posted on both fronts! I enjoyed cookies and candies and plenty of cardboard propaganda for upcoming events. Damn, every time I visit there’s always something fantastic happening right after I leave! In this case I’d be missing Bunny Jam East weekend, among other things. But I could attend Sk’Bowling, a Flambé Lounge event that very night! So after stopping by the DumbClothing trunk show and changing into something more festive, my friend Kevin and I showed up at the Yerba Buena center. There was no way I was gonna put on ice skates or bowling shoes, so I just drank beer and socialized. Everyone looked splendiferous in their playa finery: faux fur and sparkly stuff, fuzzy coats and feathery hats, animal ears and EL wire. When I had a good buzz on, we grabbed a cab for the Spectra Arts Ball at the Regency Center. This is the three-ballroom space where Anon Salon held their New Year’s Eve Sea of Dreams party in 2003 and 2004 and Kevin was quite impressed. We wound up spending most of our time in the red velvety former Masonic temple room watching Cabaret Verdalet and Gooferman. It’s the most amazing space ever! With the high-beamed ceilings, onion dome-like chandeliers, stained glass windows and the wood-burning fireplace in the adjacent room, you feel like you’ve gone back in time!

When we were being cleared out of that party, we still weren’t ready to go home, so a bunch of us jumped into cabs and headed to the Anon home base for Random and Unkle Paul’s Absinthe Party. It was the usual bleary-eyed after party scene at that point, since it was after 2am. But I just love events in this space; they always feel like a house party where everyone knows each other. Of course, San Francisco is such a small town, everyone pretty much does know each other! At least all the fellow freaks. It was warm and chill. And after an entire evening of mind alterations I was in no shape to drive. So one friend confiscated my car keys and a few other friends took me home with them to make sure I wouldn’t mistakenly try to drive home to Manhattan!

With all the events I hit Saturday I still managed to miss Fight Club at Nimby and Kink Ink at the Center for Sex and Culture. Sigh. I’m sure I missed all sorts of other excitement as well. There’s always so much going on out there! But by Monday I was back in Manhattan ready to juggle our busy social schedule. I’m damn lucky to be able to take advantage of the two sickest cities in America!

 

[Written April 2006]