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S Factor
Erotic Workout
Women will buy anything, especially if they think it will make their
ass look smaller. And when it comes to workouts, we’ve been seduced by
aerobics, spin classes, kickboxing, Pilates, yoga and Sweating to the
Oldies, to name a few. Anything in the pursuit of smoother thighs. So
it was with a bit of tried and treadmilled trepidation that I attended
an S Factor class.
The program has received all sorts of press attention that I’ve somehow
managed to miss. I had no idea what to expect. The name, S Factor,
refers to the curves of a woman’s body, but I kinda thought the
unspoken concept was S for stripper. The classes combine aspects of
yoga, dance, Pilates and erotic movement designed to tone your muscles,
firm your body and increase your flexibility. Think striptease-style
aerobics mixed with actual routines. Actress Sheila Kelly came up with
the program when she was working on Dancing at the Blue Iguana, a
gritty story about strippers which she starred in, co-wrote and
produced.
You can attend an Intro Course, as I did, for $40. An eight-week
session is $440. I was impressed when I learned that you’re really
signing up for a full course of “study,” not just a bunch of unrelated
classes that you show up for whenever you feel like it. These are
scheduled classes and you learn along with the same group of women. So
the desired effect—beyond tighter abs and being able to spin around a
stripper pole—is that of a women’s support group. Some classes have
been known to socialize outside of their sessions, celebrating their
“graduation” from Level One with frozen drinks. Now that’s an exercise
regimen I can really get behind! No pun intended!
In fact, the whole female empowerment thing is both the potential
eye-roll-inducer and S Factor’s biggest selling point. The web site
touts “These exercises and routines boost self-esteem and give women a
new way to think about their bodies. Stripping is a liberating act, out
of which comes a new look, new body, new confidence, new you.” And I
believe it. But it wasn’t easy—even for sexpot ol’ me!—to get into the
groove.
Don’t worry, you don’t have to get naked. And there are no mirrors, so
you don’t wind up judging yourself every, like, six seconds. There’s
even subdued lighting. It really is the perfect safe environment for
exploring your inner Bada Bing babe. But it’s also the first and only
exercise situation where you’re encouraged to express any sexuality at
all and I found it a bit intimidating. It’s simply not that easy for me
to lose myself, especially when I’m stone cold sober. Which is the
state I suppose I should be in when I’m working out, eh?
I don’t know how to say perky without sounding snide, but the
instructors were, well, perky—and very lovely. They were like mellow
cheerleaders. Sort of. I can’t quite put my finger on it…but imagine a
sex therapist meets aerobics instructor meets chirpy class president
meets, well, a stripper! However, none of these women had ever worked
as a stripper. Not that you’d know it by seeing them move!
After the intro session was over we were treated to a taste of what
we’d be learning if we signed up for the classes, an exhibition of
sorts by the three instructors. There was impressive improvisation,
upside-down dangling and, well, I was lucky to be sitting in the “lap
dance chair”—that’s all I’ll reveal! They explained the classes and
answered questions. There was an element of cultishness in their
enthusiasm. But there’s nothing like a true believer. Each level is an
eight-week course and there are seven levels, after which you may
achieve the “black g-string” level, the S Factor equivalent of a black
belt in karate.
S Factor is a soft-pedaling of striptease-based sexual empowerment
designed to appeal to a much more vanilla demographic than I’m used to
encountering. I’ll use my sister-o-meter: Would my sister go for it? I
think so. She’d be way more likely to learn these moves as part of a
fitness regimen than at something called, say, stripper school. I’d
recommend going with a friend. It would’ve been slightly less
uncomfortable for me if I’d had a pal to egg on and wink at.
I’m in pretty decent shape and work out at least four times a week, but
still I found myself exhausted at the end of the class and painfully
sore the following day, so this IS a real workout. I also managed to
accomplish—if not master—one stripper pole move. If you find yourself
easily bored by the same old workout routine, you should definitely
give this a whirl. Heh. I believe any woman eager to not only firm her
thighs and tighten her abs but perhaps become more comfortable in her
body in the process would benefit from the S Factor. It was worth my
$40 to learn how to spin around that pole!
[Written May 2006]
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