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Airgazmic: The Capture

Skydiving Sex?

Starring: Nicole Sheridan, Lexi Love, Naudia Nyce, Brittaney Starr, Vanessa Lynn, Aradia, Voodoo, Van Damage, Seth Dickins, Jenner, Jimmie Owens and Nick Manning.
Directed by Skye Blue
Will Appeal To: Sex fiends with a fetish for camouflage and skydiving fanatics.
Platinum Blue Productions (DVD)
2006

I’ve reviewed dozens of porn movies in my day and every viewing was strictly business. Pad and paper in one hand, remote in the other, I’ve fast-forwarded and rewound and hit pause, all in the name of adult entertainment journalism. But I haven’t spent much time – if any, to be honest – actually watching porn movies. For enjoyment, I mean. Or to merely pass the time. With Airgazmic, I did a bit of both, but even better: I watched this video with not one but two gentlemen friends. Sexxxy gentlemen friends. It was like a fantasy come true. Of course, we’d been drinking and I’d mentioned that I needed to review a porn flick, so the guys said they wanted to watch with me. We engaged in constant banter and raucous running commentary: “Her nose looks like a pig’s!” and “Whoa, nice money shot!” sort of stuff, you know. We also got into a heated debate about pubic hair. One guy was vehemently anti, I was equally vehement for and our third viewer declined to weigh in with an opinion, shrugging as if to say all pussy was a good thing, hair or no hair. There were a few moments when I actually sat with my back to the TV screen so I could watch them watching. I guess I don’t need to say that it was the most fun I’ve ever had watching porn!

But I did have to view the movie again, alone, to make sure I got all the details down for you voracious readers. But the whole episode really opened my eyes to what consumers are looking for, what they enjoy (or don’t) and what it’s like to experience porn viewing as a, well, group effort, shall we say….

And now, on with the review.

The movie has a plot and dialogue, but I hate to give away any exciting details that might enhance your viewing pleasure. I like to stick to the sex, so you know what you’re paying for. In keeping with that ethos, I’ll say they don’t waste much time cutting to the cocksucking. Nicole Sheridan is paired with Voodoo in front of a gorgeous antique airplane. She performs much licking and wobbling and enthusiastic cocksucking until they finally fuck. Hmm, nice shot of their screwing shadows on the airplane hangar floor; hey, is this art? Sheridan’s dirty talk is hotter than most, plus she really works it! No lazy lay, this one! She gets bent into a number of unlikely positions before he sprays his load from her snatch to her cleavage. I think we may have rewound that one!

As soon as I saw Mistress Aradia bossing around the hot little brunette Naudia Nice, I was hoping for some domme/sub action, but she unleashes a handsome stud on her instead. The two make out like bandits, he eats her and they screw until he loses his load all over her face and tongue.

In scene three, we’re treated to the raunchy revving of a fucking machine being ridden by the blonde, huge-boobed Brittaney Starr. She’s at the mercy of Jimmie Owens manning the controls; he bears an alarming resemblance to a certain insane San Francisco bartender I know, which only served to enhance my experience. She blows him till he blows – all over those aforementioned huge boobs. Huzzah!

Lexi Love is double-teamed in scene four with all sorts of cocksucking and clit licking before she’s subjected to both cocks. She hangs in there like a champ for quite some time. I was lovin’ her black tube socks to the point of distraction and the glint of grease dripping down her thigh was a delicious detail. Also, in reference to my earlier mention of our pubic hair debate, here’s what sparked it: Ms. Love has more muff than I’m used to seeing and I believe it’s a “hair”binger of things to come. Hah! In fact, I predict that within the next few years more porn stars will be growing out their previously hairless mounds in favor of furry but groomed gardens. I mean, when even middle-aged housewives in Dubuque get Brazilian wax jobs, it’s time for the porn babes to start a new (old?) trend. I hereby predict the return of 70s-style public thatches! You heard it here, folks.

The last two scenes are equally hot, but by that point our attention spans had drifted a bit. I did enjoy seeing Aradia fuck Vanessa Lynn with a strap-on and Starr’s second round of BJin’ and bonin’.

For you skydiving fans, there’s footage of the entire cast jumping out of airplanes in the extras, which is pretty cool. But what my two gentlemen friends and I were wondering was why there was no skyfucking. I mean why have porn stars skydiving if they aren’t gonna fuck while they’re falling? Oh well; that was the only disappointment.

All in all, it was a hot movie, blending fetish and military and spying and skydiving, which you don’t get to see too much of. Right? My friends seemed to enjoy it as well, even if one insisted upon following this feature with his far heavier double anal penetration video. Sigh. I guess that tells ya what the consumer is really interested in….Quick, somebody pack my parachute!

[Written Jan. 2007]