Editrix Abby |
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Lady ScarfaceAy, Puñeta!Starring: Carmen Luvana, Ava Rose, Angel Cassidy, Mikayla, Shyla, Ice LaFox, Emilianna, Tommy Gunn, Jerry, Rod Fontana, Marco Bandaras, Herschel Savage, Ben English, Dirty Harry and Christian.Directed by Daniel Dakota Will Appeal To: Scarface enthusiasts and people with lots of time to watch porn! From: Adam & Eve 2006 Sweet, jeeeeebus, this is one long movie! It clocks in at over three hours – a fuckin’ epic! -- which means you really, really get a whole lotta bangin’ for your buck. Add in the two bonus sex scenes and all the behind-the-scenes stuff and you’ve got enough smut to keep you busy for quite some time. It’s at least one lonnnnng evening’s worth of erotic entertainment. Carmen Luvana stars as the Tony Montana character with a great gangster sneer and the perfect accent. She and the rest of the cast are acting their asses off! In scene one, Carmen has just arrived in America and Herschel Savage is her demanding INS agent. After all sorts of sucking, licking, screwing and ass smacking, she’s a “bone-a-fied” citizen. Haha! Ava Rose co-stars with Carmen in scene two, where they’re workin’ at a car wash, yeah. There’s plenty of sudsing and shaking, of course, and even more carpet munching. Their antics carry on into the night when a mattress magically appears for them to get down on. Carmen dons a hot pink strap-on to screw the shapely, sexy Ava. Man, she has got a GREAT body: slim waist, full hips and real tits. Yummy! Ice’s fleshy ass gets slapped around by Rod Fontana in a diner. At one point he has her upside down; I guess that order must’ve been for “Ice over easy!” Tommy Gunn is the drug lord and his babe is Mikayla, looking lovely in a corset. Actually, they both look pretty good, in an LA porn star sort of way: he’s cut and ropy, she’s got silky skin and long dark hair. They get good and sweaty during their scene together. Christian and Emiliana are paired in scene five, the high point of which is watching him spray his jizz all over her fine ass. Down in “Columbia” Luvana visits Ben English, cast as the drug overlord. He’s got two hot blonde babes – Shyla and Angel – and the three daisy chain and screw in all manner of positions and pairingsbeside the beautifl blue swimming pool. When he loses his load onto their outstretched tongues – plus a splash of spooge on eyelashes! – he lets go of a long, gut-wrenchingly convincing groan. The two ladies engage in an interlude of ridiculous tongue tangling and make like they’re licking the come off each other’s faces. Oy! So, what are we up to now? Ah, scene seven! Tommy Gunn takes on Ava, Luvana’s “Angel,” and you know it ain’t gonna end good for either of them. They are totally smokin’ together; Gunn comes in a complete frenzy. And in the final scene – yes, there are EIGHT! – Carmen talks dirty in Spanish to her would-be assassin. Hot! She smears “coke” all over her tits and he sprays his spooge all over them. Whoa, nice! The film ends in the same machine-gun spray of bullets that the original did, with Luvana emoting “Say hello to my new friend!” as she unloads her firearm. You get to see more of the girls gun handling in the Making Of scenes on Disc 2 of the two-disc set. But I especially enjoyed the Outtakes. There are interviews with all the actresses and lots of giggles to be had with botched lines and spraying blood. Watching them joking around serves to humanize the stars. Plus I love to listen in on the comments from the crew. Priceless! If you still haven’t had enough after all eight scenes and three-plus hours, cue up the two bonus scenes. One is a vintage-y 50s piece with the most hilarious fake pubic hair ever! The other features Ava Rose with some scrawny dude in a shower for the standard suck, lick, screw. It’s a nice change of pace to see them sopping wet throughout the sex. All in all, this is a classy example of big-budget porn. If you prefer the downer-and-dirtier, it may not work for ya, but if glamorous girls gettin’ banged on gorgeous sets is your style, check it out. Two “little friends” up! [Written Jan. 2007] |
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