Editrix Abby |
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Abby's Back!The Editrix Returns to NYCFor all intents and purposes, I’ve been away from New York City since early August 2006, with a few brief visits for Halloween and my Mondo Porno Ho-Ho-Ho. Since then I’ve been to New Orleans, Los Angeles, Reno, Squaw Valley, Healdsburg, Gerlach, Burning Man and Berkeley, but mostly San Francisco. And while I enjoyed every moment more than I had a right to, there’s something about the energy of Manhattan that’s like a narcotic. Once you’ve felt it flowing through your veins, life without it becomes unimaginable.Since my return, I’ve been out almost every night. The scene isn’t what it used to be, I’ll admit, but anyone with a little ingenuity can find themselves fun – and loads of trouble! – if they try. Of course, I don’t even need to try. Fun and trouble find me! Here’s my return re-cap: Every Wednesday, including the day after I got back, I’ve made it to the local burner Happy Hour. Different friends show up at each one and they’re so pleased to see me they buy me beers. Which means every Thursday I’ve been hungover. I had pink drinks at my favorite outdoor bar, Sidewalk, even though on that particular Friday afternoon, it wasn’t quite warm enough to drink outdoors. I sat beneath a magnolia tree in full bloom in the backyard of Enchantments, the magical witch store my friends run, and chatted over beers before subwaying out to Brooklyn for a house party and the Hungry March Band. After a fit of spring cleaning, I dropped off bags of clothing at the Swap-O-Rama-Rama, a hybrid of a clothing swap, stitch-n-bitch, fashion show and bedazzling workshop. Early one Monday morning I chatted with Karen Salmansohn on her Sirius radio show Be Happy Dammit! And that night screened a preview of a documentary about Burners Without Borders and their cleanup efforts in Biloxi and Pearlington, Mississippi, to a bunch of friends. On my second Saturday night, I talked a few friends into checking out Rated X: The Panty Party. It’s been ages since I’ve been to that bash, which has moved to a new West Village venue: Luke & Leroy. The “thrust” of the fun here is that if you strip down to your panties you get two-for-one drinks. I, of course, have dozens of frilly panties in my, uh, drawers, so I packed a pair and changed in the ladies room. My friend did me one better by taking part in the Hot Bod Contest. She wound up onstage in nothing BUT her panties! She also gave a brief handjob to a gay boy before conceding the title to…I can’t recall. By that point we were all pretty smashed. As usual, the music was awesome – thanks to legendary (and former Kitsch Inn) DJ Michael T. But the crowd, well, they left a bit to be desired. As one might expect on a Saturday night in the West Village. It was pretty much yuppies and bridge-n-tunnelers tryin’ to be all hip n shit. Whatev. I almost got the boot for going into the bathroom with a gentleman friend. I was JUST pissing, I swear! Good thing I’m friends with Theo, who stuck up for me to the scary bouncer dude. Phew, yeah? Just as I was about to drunkenly put my key into my apartment building front door, my friend HQ texted me that she was about to buy two six-packs. I spent the rest of the nighttime blathering with her and we eventually passed out on the world’s smallest fold-out couch. The next morning we stumbled out into the daylight for bloody marys and brunch and then I continued stumbling all the way to Union Square for the annual Blackkat Mayday celebration. There were DJs spinning old school whatever-the-hell and all kinds of kids dancing on the blacktop. It was a beautiful day and even though I was squinting through a hellish hangover, seeing old friends in the sunshine was delightful. And as if the previous 24 hours weren’t quite enough, I rested, showered and got myself into high goth for the 10th anniversary of Long Black Veil, Mother’s vampyre weekly. It was held in the basement of Element, formerly The Bank, and the renovation is stunning! Gorgeous lighting, intimate conversation areas and lots of exposed brick – the perfect venue for the event. I was somewhat surprised that I didn’t see more of the “old guard” but enjoyed chatting with Chi Chi Valenti and Xris SMack. I caught a harp performance by Somna M. Bulist and listened to DJ Ian Fford spin all the old favorites. Needless to say, I slept like the proverbial dead that night! On a balmy Tuesday, I was interviewed by a German film crew for a documentary on The Summer of Love 30 years later before attending the Sex Workers’ Art Show opening, curated by Audacia Ray, at Arena to benefit $pread magazine. The walls were hung with artwork by Vena Virago, Zak Smith aka Zak Sabbath, Molly Crabapple and others alongside a silent auction of elaborately altered dildos. I saw people I haven’t seen in years, shook hands with porn starlet Franchezca Valentina, received an update on Porno Jim’s new movie and generally hobnobbed with the City’s sexerati. By Friday I was excited about dressing up in lingerie to attend a fundraiser for Smoochdome, a Burning Man theme camp, where I slurped down a few PBRs before trekking out to deep Brooklyn for Chemistry [www.chemistry-nyc.com or my write-up from last year]. It’s been about a year since I attended their debut and the sexy party appears to have become a huge success. They had a DJ and firespinners on the rooftop; downstairs, dozens of couples were in assorted states of undress -- and ecstasy. It was, of course, a perfect segue from a lingerie soiree to a sex party and though I’m not much of a participant, I am an enthusiastic voyeur! It was all quite lovely. The next morning I dragged my sad, sorry, sleep-deprived ass out to Coney Island for Cinco de Playa, a national beach cleanup effort. And after hours of picking up trash a bunch of us celebrated with beers, corn dogs and other Coney Island delicacies before taking a hair-scrambling ride on The Cyclone. I almost passed out from exhaustion on the subway ride home, where I had exactly one hour to shower and get myself into Frida Kahlo drag for my Mondo Porno de Cinco de Mayo. I sucked down a Howling Monkey energy drink while screening a Latinas smut movie and felt like I’d snorted a gram of coke. That shit is strong! And it prepared me for the long night ahead. It turned out to be my favorite Mondo ever! Sure, I’m a sucker for Santa, but the line-up at this one was soooo fun! Bettie After Midnight warmed up the crowd. Whiskey & Whores had someone dressed as bacon and a friend who jumped onstage, stripped down to nothing, a dollar bill poised at her asshole. They poured whiskey all over the audience (and each other) and sang songs about poop, playing at a gay bar and their little ditty dedicated to me, 75% Slut! Erocktica got naked, as usual, and encouraged audience participants to do the same. The Sex Slaves drove the crowd wild with their only New York City show in months. In between the bands I tossed out a TON of condoms, lube, porn DVDs, t-shirts, vibrators, butt plugs and dildos! And burlesque babes Blackie Deuce, Dottie Lux and Amber Ray presented caliente tassel twirling. Ay carumba! By the time we cleared outta there for the afterparties, we'd set an Arlene's Grocery record for biggest bar take! Of course, the previously held record was from the first Mondo Porno! It was one muy bueno fiesta and a totally wild night! In the upcoming week I’ll be working the door at Night of a Thousand Stevies, catching an afternoon matinee of Annie Sprinkle’s Exposed at Collective Unconscious, heading to Bushwick for a Fairy Tail costume event and then cabulating back to Tribeca for another Burning Man theme camp fundraiser, this time for Disorient and Kostume Kult. And if I have an ounce of energy left, I’ll be hitting up BYTE Sunday night. I guess it goes without saying that there really IS no rest for the wicked, especially in the city that never sleeps! Not to mention that I have more energy than a dozen mere mortals! And it’s good to know that no matter where I wander, there’s no party like home! [Written May 2007] |
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